What Your Attachment Style Says About You

By Meena Niazi, Professional Counselor Associate

Our relationship patterns and attachment styles can give us insight into who we are and our

behaviors in romantic partnerships.

Attachment theory suggests that from the time we are born we form bonds and attachments to our caregivers. The strength and nature of these early childhood relationships can inform how our future selves will develop and evolve in relationships.

Research has suggested that infants that were neglected from forming bonds or attachments to their primary caregivers will later in life suffer emotionally and report reduced levels of happiness (Winston & Chicot, 2016).

Therefore, based on our very early childhood experiences in bonding and attachment we can take a closer look to check out our attachment style and what it can mean for us.

The Four Attachment Styles

Secure Attachment: A secure attachment would assert that your caregivers were present for you during infancy and signifies a healthy bond. As adults they are more likely to be able to maintain close intimate relationships and comfortable with displaying interest in a romantic partner.

Anxious Attachment: Suggest that caregivers were inconsistent in infancy to tend to your needs. How this shows up as an adult is that you may seek intimacy and closeness to a partner and crave consistent validation and security from them.

Fearful-avoidant: Indicates that there is a desire for intimacy but may withdraw if the relationship becomes serious. It is an ambivalent state where indecisiveness rules. Craving the attention, security, and intimacy a relationship can provide however, also feeling constricted or strained by the closeness.

Avoidant Attachment: As children they may have learned that their needs are not a priority or simply cannot be tended to. This may result in feeling unloved, they may struggle being in tune with their feelings and expressing their emotions. Therefore, leading them to avoid relationships altogether.

So now that you have discovered your attachment style, what does it mean to you? And where can we go from here?

The first step is having the insight of where we land on the spectrum of attachments and exploring our relationship history and patterns. Pinpointing the behaviors or reactions that can manifest from our attachment style can help us in the future heal and change our behaviors in relationships.

If this article resonated with you and you would like to dive deeper into your relationship personality, schedule a call with us today! Together we can explore the dynamics that exist in current and past relationships that to gain greater insight and make meaningful changes in your relationships. Schedule your free 15-minute consult call today. We look forward to seeing you.